How not to get a job with a startup

Hugh Mongoose wants you

10gen is in super-recruiting mode, trying to scoop up all the great graduates before Google and Microsoft absorb them. I’ve been doing what feels like endless recruiting activities, and I’ve noticed that lot of applicants shoot themselves in the foot. So, here’s what not to do:

First contact

Don’t: contact the startup before you know what they do. I’ve recruited at a couple college job fairs and almost everyone comes up and says, “Hi, I’m a masters student in computer science and I’m looking for a job. Can I give you my resume?” Yes, you can, and I’ll put it on the pile of 200 other resumes.

Also, please don’t walk me through your resume line-by-line: it’s boring. I’ll hate you and I won’t be able to think of a polite way of cutting you off.

Do: say, “I love MongoDB! I’ve been using it with Ruby for <some project> and I would love to work on it full time! I’m really interested in replication/sharding/geospatial/etc. stuff!” Keep in mind: you’re talking to startup employees. Working is our life (which sounds depressing, but we’re doing what we love). It’s annoying to have people apply who are looking for a job, any job, and obviously don’t give a crap what we do.

Startups tend to get romanticized (and I’m about to romanticize them out the wazoo), but working at one definitely isn’t for everyone. The salary isn’t as good, the job security is going to suck, it’s tons more work and investment than a “normal” company, and in all likelihood, after pouring your heart and soul into it for years, it’ll flop.

On the other hand, working at a startup is awesome. You get to do everything: I’ve done C socket programming and jQuery and everything in between. I’m two years out of school and manage release cycles and user communities. I’ve gotten to travel everywhere from Belgium to Brazil and written a book.

It’s a great match if you like being independent: not the Rambo-“don’t tie me down, baby”-independent, the “::snerk::, I like dinosaurs so I wrote a research paper on sauropods”-independent. You have to be willing to work hard under your own steam.

Your resume

Don’t: have a boring resume.

Your resume should prove that we are fools if we don’t bring you in for an interview.

If yours doesn’t, think about what your dream job would look for on your resume. Open source development? Independent research? A penchant for robot design? Now go out and get that stuff on your resume.

Don’t use fluffy language, your resume is going to be read by programmers, not managers. “Did in-depth research to enable optimization of processes” is going to make us groan. “Made a genome-crunching aggregation script 50 times faster by researching how Java memory allocation works” is going to make us go “cool!” Have you done other optimization research? Do you like benchmarking? Do you know a lot about Java internals? Heck, tell us about the human genome.

Your interview is going to be a lot more fun for everyone involved (and much more likely to actually occur) if you make us think, “this person sounds really interesting, I want to talk to them.”

When I was in college I had no idea what I wanted to do, other than a vague idea of “solving interesting problems.” So, you don’t exactly have to be dedicated to the cause to get a job at a startup. Just express some enthusiasm for what they do, write a kick-ass resume, and the rest is up to your technical ability.

Oh, and by the way: if you’re looking for an awesome job, 10gen is recruiting!

kristina chodorow's blog